im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
