I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Let's paint friendship bongs
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
