Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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