Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
