life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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