I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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