I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
