Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
