Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
