Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
