No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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