Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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