no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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