He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I enjoy the company of your penis
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize