tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
