she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
