ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
