thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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