just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
