MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize