Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
