ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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