just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
