Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He passed out mid-signature
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
