I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize