i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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