maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
