I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
