3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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