just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you inspire me to be a worse person
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
