beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
why do cheetos always look like penises
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
