1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I hate your face
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
