just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize