LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize