He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize