Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
