Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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