I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
