I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Success! We fucked roommates!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
