thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I need moral support for this bender
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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