I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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