in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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