I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
