He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize