ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
