How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You ruined the universe
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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