I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
