I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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