Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
it glows. i had to have it.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
