I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize