Dual....:-)
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
