ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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