is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
