Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
thus making me awesome and them whores
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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