Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
