I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
