I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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