I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
