We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
