You're completely useless in the revolution.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
