used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Found the puke drawer
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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