Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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